There’s a saying that goes ”Keep coming back, It works if you work it (it meaning the program), so work it ‘cause you’re worth it”. I think those are the key things the new comer needs to remember. If you believe this program can work for you, then there is no reason why you should not work the steps. It’s hard to try and save your life when you hate yourself but you’re worth more than you think you are. I would suggest not giving up because you’re worth recovery. I know when I first started coming to meetings, my ears were open and I heard everything that was said. I didn’t necessarily understand it all at first but I related to it. I was in a room of AA totally distraught because I related to everything that was being said and I was only 21. My point is that I related to everything right away but not everyone has those same experiences as I did. It might take someone a while of sitting in these rooms to finally get it and to concede to their inner most self that they have a problem with alcohol. That’s where the “keep coming back” part comes in.
People who say recovery is easy are fucking piece of shit liars. If you’ve come in to Alcoholics Anonymous, I hope you’re in a desperate state because that’s one of the only ways you’re going to even be willing to try something new, something different. I know I’m at a place in my sobriety where I’m only willing to do things when I’m in a lot of pain, when I’m desperate enough. Funnily enough, the things I do when I’m in pain and when I’m desperate, end up making me feel so much better. You might wonder why I just don’t do those things in the first place. That’s certainly what I wonder.
An important thing to remember is that everything takes time. If you’re a person that has a lot of time to dedicate to the program with a sponsor who is on board, then there’s no reason not to go through the steps at a more than steady pace. But that’s usually not how it works. People go to school, they raise children and they work full time jobs. People go through their steps as fast as they want to go through them. It’s about how much effort you’re willing to put into the program, how much writing, reading, etc. I am about four and a half months sober and I haven’t finished my writing for my third step and it even took me an immense amount of pain to even begin to start the writing. I always say, “I’ll get to it” but yet when I’m in pain, I’m always willing to go above and beyond what it is that needs to be done.
Another piece of advice is to just keep in mind that not everyone in a 12 step program is here for the same reasons you are. Some people are there to take advantage of you whether it be sexually, financially or some other way. Some people who come to AA aren’t even alcoholics. Some people are just lonely creatures. Some people are appointed by the courts to be there and they’re pissed off about it and don’t want to be your friend.
If you believe, down in your brains heart, that you’re an alcoholic, then you’re an alcoholic. And taking the twelve steps can help relieve some, if not all, of the pain, grief and insanity that living an alcoholic life style brings.